Happy Grateful Day!
Thankful Holidays Indeed 🙂
Today, no matter what we do, we all try to consider what we are thankful for. For the first time in my life, I can say without fear of being jinxed that I am grateful for everything…
This is the very first holiday without my beloved Grandmother on this physical Earth. Oddly enough, I feel that she is closer to me now that she ever was in life. She & my adoptive Mother smile beside me, unable to hold back the tears of proud joy streaming down their cheeks…
No, this is not a Pollyanna bragging session in your inbox. This is my narration of the most beautiful point in my entire life. The transition between verbally-processing to internally considering is difficult at best to convey & if it wasn’t for the concrete changes I have experienced & sought in the past year & especially the last month, I’m not sure it would be possible to so eloquently express in writing!
So, what happened? As you all know, I have been actively working on lifestyle changes for years. Simply put, those acclimations became belief systems. The great shift is me inside & outside. People that reappear in my life view me as if I’ve lost 300lbs & got a radical new hair cut. New people in my space claim I am magnetic & I giggle at their inability to tell me how amazing the synchronicity is for them, having experienced it too many times to count (although each time is no less intriguing).
About a month ago, I stood on top of a mountain range I had never climbed before & a force much like wind & mana (energy) flowed through me, buckling my knees in a profound wave of epiphany. Clarity was my gift & I was compelled for the first time to ask of the Universe precise questions I sought the answers to. I was clear, no longer unconscious & closed off to the possibilities.
Authenticity & honesty is what I desired, no matter the difficulties entangled with the process. Within hours the answers flowed through serendipitous interactions with people & places. I prayed, meditated, analyzed & processed for 5 days before taking the leap of faith.
Every day since that trapeze release, life has been pebbled & sometimes bouldered with challenges. The navigation through, around, under & over have been incredibly insightful & I write to you today without a shadow of doubt that I am “right” where I am supposed to be.
Buddha once claimed that had he known what he knew in hind site would he had sought suffering so much. What I believe he meant is that there are different forms of suffering, likely two main ones: self-sabatoge & self-awareness seeking. Up until age 24-25 my suffering was of the self-sabatoging behavioral kind. In the last month, a great shift has occurred…
Perhaps Johnny Appleseed had the same insights at some point in his life. At first he nurtured one or two seeds until he felt they could grow on their own. As he embarked on his auspicious journey, he may have finally learned that by being self-aware & loving, that nature would find a way. He tossed seeds by the hundreds as he skipped down trails & the actions always speak for themselves: there are too many trees to count centuries later!
The journey was in the process… It still is. Every day is a balance of gratitude & diligence without compromising integrity. In the past month EVERY SINGLE THING has changed in my inside & outside world. Or perhaps I just now am seeing my genuine self. You’ll be hearing more from me on the concrete changes, but today I just wanted to share that I appreciate every single one of you. Every one of you was avcatalyst of inspiration on some level: emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually & financially.
Today, I am thankful for all of you & for myself for putting in the work, getting clear on who I am & being strong enough to handle the answers & obstacles that cometh my way. It’s indeed a blessed day!
The transformations are continual & the future holds infinite possibilities…
Kulia i ka nu’u (see you at the summit)!